Samuel 1:27

I just love the name Sam and did for sometime, but when I found out I was pregnant, we weren't sure what name we were going for. I was so confused about what name our son was going to carry for his whole life! Jarrett liked Gabriel and we would call him Gabe. I did like that name a lot, but if I didn't have it embroidered on something, I knew I wasn't sold. Then one day I was looking at a picture frame I got for a baby gift and the bottom of it said " for this child I prayed and the Lord answered my request" it was from the book of Samuel 1:27. I felt this tingle of "that's it!" So then I showed it to Jarrett and with a firmness he said "then that is our sons name." This was about 2 weeks before he was born. It took 19 months for God to bless us with Sam. Those were some very hard months in many ways, it was unfair that people got pregnant and didn't want to, it was unfair people were giving their children up, it was unfair that we had to spend so much money out of pocket for medication, it was unfair that I lived my life in months. Some friendships changed because people didn't get it. It was not that I was not happy for them, I was, it was just hard for me to know that I wanted to be a mom so badly and it just wasn't happening. I stopped all the medication I was taking and just gave it over to God. In early October, I felt overwhelmed by it all and I decided to drive around before I went to the grocery store listening to some Christian songs that gave me peace and I just talked to God like he was sitting in a chair across from me. No fancy words, I probably let my ADD get in the way making my grocery list in between my talk. I just gave my worries to God. "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you". Peter 5:7

I had made an appointment for November 4 to see a fertility specialist. On November 2, on a fluke I decided to take a pregnancy test honestly because it was a daily thing I did (confessions, confessions-and can you imagine how much money I gave to CVS?). It looked positive and I thought that it was just to blurry to read. So the next day I got up early, got a digital one- can't mess that up-lol- and took it in the bathroom at work. It is such a weird feeling getting that positive- like a happy, scared, OMG my life just changed this very minute kinda feeling. God can do anything! Anyway, I have been very frustrated with my little miracle lately and I thought that thinking back to how blessed we are and that wonderful day, I would find some peace today with a very busy little boy named Sam.